While I’m messing on trying to locate the 637 songs missing from my new phone, I’ll try and explain why on earth I just passed up the most spontaneous opportunity that has ever come my way. Why when something finally could happen to me, I didn’t go with it.
I met up with four of my closest friends yesterday for fruity teas and scones because we’re ladies of leisure now. Putting a positive spin on unemployment I suppose. We had a great time and I had a good night in and the longest chat in ages with one of them. We even planned my next blog entry, and this isn’t it. Sorry Clare, I’ll do that next time. On my way home this morning I received a text from one of the girls:
‘I know this is a bit impromptu, but are you free to go to Prague Monday-Friday? It’s from Leeds and £250.’ I wanted to scream ‘YES!’ in the middle of the bus station. I wanted to run to the bank, withdraw money from my ISA and find my passport. I replied asking for the afternoon to think about it, because the first problem I thought of was the fact that my health insurance card expired a year ago. Then I remembered the Race for Life next Friday. Then I remembered that I’m still holding out for a job.
These seemed like such lame reasons to turn it down. Despite myself, I began Googling the weather in Prague and wondering what to wear. I wondered if I needed sunglasses or my leather jacket and began a list of things I needed to sort out:
-Health Insurance (Even possible in two days?!)
-Data turned off my phone so I don’t get charged a fortune
-How to get to Leeds on Monday
-Race for life
-WHERE IS MY CONVERTER PLUG?
-What shoes would I take?
These seem like such trivial things, but the health insurance would probably have been impossible to fix in two days. I thought about the job, I thought that on my death bed, I’ll never think ‘I wish I hadn’t been to Prague.’ The dole seemed worth it.
But would I still say that in say, four months’ time? In four months when I had missed the phone call about the job because I was in Prague. When I didn’t have money for nice Christmas presents and was still sitting on the sofa bored out of my mind wishing I hadn’t wasted my time.
No. I’d say the same thing I say now about Leeds Festival 2008 when I booked tickets just after my 17th birthday. ‘I wish I’d learnt to drive instead. I’d be so much better off now.’
While scared of missing out, regretting passing up the opportunity and no adventures ever happening, I don’t want any trip to Prague, or anywhere for that matter to be tainted with the feeling of ‘I shouldn’t have done that.’ Not guilty pleasure, but guilt that it was actually detrimental to my future ambitions. Potentially this job is my money to support the luxury of gaining voluntary work experience, meaning I don’t have to settle for any job or career I don’t want to do just yet. I want to teach, and I want to write, and before I can do either, I need a part time job.
If I don’t get the job… well. I should have gone to Prague, but didn’t, so I guess I’ll have to just resolve to go next time and not dwell on it.
The weather forecast for next week is dreadful anyway. And the third person who was meant to be going doesn’t have a valid passport. It wasn’t really a definite no - I’d love to go to Prague. Just not on Monday.