Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Compliment someone, they won't bite!

Firstly, this is completely irrelevant, but I’m a big Game of Thrones fan and having recently finished the second book, I am GEEKING OUT over the Blackwater episode. It was so epic that I’ve watched it twice and concluded that Tyrion Lannister is my favourite fictional character.

Doing the book justice! 

Second irrelevant point: I went to Newcastle to get a phone cover from the Apple store. I figured that if I own something as expensive as a new iPhone, I should at least get a decent cover for it. My boyfriend left the Apple store with an iPad. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, M&S pay him too much money! However, cover or no cover, I very nearly dropped it in a cup of tea earlier. How on earth am I going to make it last two years?!

This will be a pretty short blog tonight, but I did do something for once that I would never normally have the nerve to do, and that was work up the nerve to compliment someone that I wouldn’t normally speak to.
I think everyone has a couple of people on their Facebook or Twitter or even in their phone contacts that they haven’t spoken to in years, but actually do know. Not someone that they dislike and keep as a friend just to spy on (this does happen, I am guilty of it. I’m trying to curb negative habits.) But someone that they actually enjoy reading their updates, hearing what they’re up to and such, but don’t speak to for fear of seeming ‘random’ or ‘stalkerish.’

I always talk about how detrimental social networking can be when used to keep tabs on people you don’t particularly like, begin comparing yourself to other people or have more of a virtual life than an actual one. However there is someone on my Facebook friends list who has such a positive outlook and is generally quite inspirational. I love reading her blog and to an extent it inspired this one. It’s called ‘How to Make the Best of’ and it’s what confirmed for me in the first place that my outlook was all wrong and I needed to do something about it. So I decided that I would put aside worries of whether I’d be perceived as creepy or ingenuine and messaged her to let her know that I had been reading and I loved it. 

She was really happy that I had let her know what I thought, with writing, all feedback is good feedback, and we had a chat about each other’s blogs and such and decided that we’ll get together soon for a coffee or something. I suggested it as we’re both interested in writing, and it’s not something I would usually do. I’m always worried that people will only agree because it would be awkward to say no. People these days often seem so suspicious of friendliness that I never quite know what will be considered creepy/pushy/clingy and normally avoid making plans. But I've gotten used to making plans with friends I see all the time, and I've spent years complaining about my social life, so it’s time to get my act together and learn that like all things, friends take effort and they won’t just come knocking at your door. So why not find someone on your Facebook or Twitter who you enjoy reading what they have to say, and take a chance on making the jump from virtual to real life friends? At the very least, strike up a conversation. I don’t see why it’s not done more often, especially if you actually know the person and know they’re not going to lure you into the back of a windowless van. Of course, if you don't know the person, please be safe in order to avoid the windowless van debacle. 

But back to the initial act of a compliment, they feel good to receive, but they feel better to give. I said how people regard friendliness with suspicion, but if we all looked at things a bit more positively and rise above feelings of jealousy, insecurity or anything else that might prevent us from giving a compliment, the world would be a happier, more confident and encouraging place. Try it on your close friends or family first, obviously make sure you mean it, and the positivity will come back to you.   

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