Monday, 16 July 2012

Moving on from yesterday

Tomorrow I go to placement, and then am visiting Marc until Thursday afternoon, so won’t get chance to write tomorrow or Wednesday. I don’t want to leave on a bad note after last night.

I don’t like to leave anything badly, it’s something I can always remember my sister telling me when she used to instruct and help my horse riding. It’s a bit different with horse riding, because say your horse keeps refusing a jump and you quit, you won’t push yourself to do it next time, and the horse will know it can get away with it. So I would never end on a bad note, and that’s something I have since applied to everything I do. I don’t want to leave my blog entry, especially for new readers (welcome by the way! I see my stats have increased again) because I don’t want them to think this blog is just for ranting and moaning about how unfair life is.

So although yesterday’s online rant was beneficial, today I have moved on and forced myself back into some kind of routine, even if I did wake up ridiculously late. It would have been so easy to let my foul mood continue and to just sit and brood, but I got up, showered and dressed, then went to town to buy a birthday present for my mam and some clear nail varnish. The rest of the day just fell into place. After seeing Alley (the wonderful blogger of Smiling,moving,living,loving and ten year strong friend) at work selling birthday cards, I thought I’d see what she was up to when she finished and we ended up going for a late lunch and a needlessly long drive to get there. I then printed off some worksheets for tomorrow, spent an hour having a drink with my parents at the pub. I thought that would be weird now that I work there, but surprisingly not. After that, I went to my sister’s house for our new Monday night tradition of watching Top Model and The Inbetweeners and ordering take away.

I also bought a new top from River Island, because it was beautiful and only £10 and I thought ‘why not?’ The answer to that should always be ‘because you have no money, Rachel. You are on minimum wage and the taxman currently owes you £50 and your car tax is due in August.’ I’m actually hoping that my tax rebate will pay for my car tax.

So I’m back to my usual self. Keeping busy and living beyond my means. In all the recent change, I have perhaps lost track of my long term aims, so am actually looking forward to going to placement as it is my last day at that school and giving it my all. The man from uni who has helped organise it all is coming along too, so I hope it goes well so he can put me forward for other opportunities in September. It’s been a great experience and I’ve got to work with some really ambitious kids, I hope they’ve been inspired by what we’ve had to say, or at least that they remember it in future when they think about applying for further education.

I’ve often said that my current situation is not ideal, and it’s often infuriating, but this may be the only year of my life where I have the independence of an adult without all of the responsibilities that come with it, and without education. I don’t earn a great deal, but I earn enough to get by if I stop buying clothes, and I get to spend time with my family, friends and Marc, which makes me happy and I can focus on the things I enjoy. I have it good really, and am surrounded by many more helpful and supportive people who I love than I am negative people, so really, yesterday’s rant was a bit unnecessary. Things have a way of righting themselves, and if they don’t, we are adaptable!

So tomorrow I get back into the swing of things and as for the rest of my night, I’m finally going to start reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Nothing like jumping on the bandwagon late!

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