Thursday, 5 July 2012

Guilty Pleasures

I haven’t even been paid yet and I’m already treating myself. As soon as I left for Middlesbrough on Tuesday to meet a friend for coffee, I knew that I was going to be buying myself a pair of jeans from Topshop. I was wearing jeans and a top, so didn't need to take a t-shirt in to try with the jeans, but I had spotted a t shirt I liked so took that in the changing rooms as well, you know, just to see how the jeans would look with it. Needless to say, I ended up with both items. It would have been rude not to.

I actually do like Cash - And it
looks great with a leather jacket!
I have also booked a hair appointment for tomorrow, but view that as a necessity. Anything that looked remotely styled or like a fringe grew itself out months ago and my sister’s attempts at home colouring my hair have ended up patchy. It looked intentional and quite cool is what I told myself at first, but now the ends are practically black, roots are fair and in between is a combination of black, brown, copper and natural blondish patches and dead ends. I don’t know why I let it get this bad. I will end up walking into the hairdressers and sobbing ‘please fix it again?’

So I talked about getting the work/life balance right, and this week I have got it totally wrong in the opposite, more fun way. I’ve seen two of my friends and then absconded completely from Tuesday night to a few hours ago to Marc’s where apart from going to the cinema and for a small walk, we have done virtually nothing productive.

Placement was brief and not as well organised as it should have been, which led to an awkward hour of me and the girl I run it with trying to seem like we knew what we were doing, when all we were in fact doing was making the kids do drawings in an attempt to engage them. Lesson learnt. Just because last week was cancelled, does not mean we can do no prep work at all and think we can just wing this week. Even though nothing disastrous happened, I think both of us felt that we had let ourselves down a little bit, so have planned next weeks and actually intend to not get too distracted by other things, and to rediscover our enthusiasm.

So I’ve let myself slip financially, professionally and nutritionally. I’ve been for two runs since doing the Race for Life and still haven’t sent my sponsor money back. I’ve been to the gym once in the past month and have just gorged myself on chocolate buttons. And I still haven’t written creatively since getting my feedback with the word ‘naff’ in it. I didn’t even really feel like writing this right now, but knew that I needed to get back out of my lazy habit, as I don’t want to get stuck back in a rut of doing nothing and feeling bad about it. I’m glad I did write, as it’s taken on a life of its own as writing often tends to do, and I have been able to address my little relapses.

So tomorrow, I think it will be new hair and a new start. Well not so much a new start as a kick up the backside. I’m not at work so I have no excuse. I will be healthy again, start writing again and start putting my money towards paying my parents back for car insurance and putting back into my ISA for potential holidays and adventures instead of using the account as a bail-out fund.

It's not often I find jeans that fit me properly, but Topshop's Leigh
supersoft skinny jeans are a God-send!
But that’s not to say that the last few days of indulging whims haven’t been fun. I loved being able to say yes to my £52 Topshop splurge (I’m dragging out use of my student discount) and saying yes to coffees, lunches and a late night showing of Spider-Man. I loved lying around with Marc, stuffing ourselves with chocolate and skipping the gym and most certainly do not regret booking tomorrow’s hair appointment. I’m a firm believer that you have to treat yourself or take a day or two to do nothing but enjoy your own or someone else’s company, else you will go mad. After all, all work and no play make Jack a dull boy. (I MUST re-read The Shining!) 

But it is important not to let these little guilty pleasures get out of hand else you lose sight of what you’re working towards, or eventually become miserable as well as fat, penniless and stuck in a rut.

 So its not so much back to work, but back to organisation, back to doing instead of just being, happy in the knowledge that I will be doing instead of being with good hair, plenty of sleep and a fantastic pair of jeans. 

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